Many of our negative self beliefs were programmed from our childhood and early life experiences. This means that the "you" now is probably no longer aligned with those old beliefs, even though they continue to run on autopilot in the back of your mind. Do you have old limiting beliefs that are no longer valid? It's never too late to change them!
Old beliefs do not have to define you today!
Soooo this concept is one that definitely changed my life!! If you really think about it, many of our beliefs have been passed down from grandparents to our parents, and then to us. They are always with us, running in the background of our minds all the time. When we feel misalignment with those old beliefs, we end up with feelings of guilt, negativity, and even self-loathing. But, there are also times where we create our own beliefs as children and those beliefs continue into adulthood even though they were made by our simple child's mind.
For example, I had a hearing impairment from birth until around two. The doctor said I probably heard as if I was underwater. This affected my speech greatly. I had a speech impediment with multiple kinds of sounds such as my R’s, S’s, Ch, Z, Sch, Sh, and other letter combinations too. This affected me in reading, because back then we learned to read and spell by sounding out words, and I couldn’t sound out the words so I couldn’t read or spell.
I was put into the “slow readers group“ as I moved from grade to grade. I don't think they do this quite so overtly now, but when I was growing up that was a thing. It also affected my reading comprehension, so of course, my standardized test scores were always low in reading and comprehension. I would get so nervous that I would be sick about taking those tests before I even got to school. I would give up before I even got very far into the test. I would also feel sheer terror at the thought of reading out loud, having to spell in front of people, or be required to read a full book and report on it.
I never told anyone about how ashamed this made me feel. It was so damaging to my self-esteem. I really believed there was something wrong with me; I thought if I could not read and everyone else could, I was just not smart. I never told anyone how I felt. How could I? I was so ashamed. Everyday in school was a battle for me. I was terrified of being "found out". I was just a little girl, I had no idea that this was normal for someone with such a strong speech impediment. Had I told my parents, I know they would have absolutely reassured me that I was indeed a smart girl. But talking about it, calling attention to it, admitting my shame was not something I even considered. It was not even something I could articulate. It was a just dark feeling that existed within me all the time.
I had speech therapy throughout elementary school, and by about twelve, I was speaking correctly with no impediment. But it did not matter. The damage was done and I was the one who created those damaging beliefs about myself. It was all self-inflicted judgment.
This belief of myself started as a little girl and stayed with me until I was well into my thirties. It negatively affected my education (I was a terrible student), my relationships (I constantly looked to others to be validated which created very dysfunctional relationships), and my self-esteem (I felt unworthy, like an imposter who could never succeed in anything). It was so ingrained in me that I did not even think about it consciously. I never questioned this belief. I accepted it and tried desperately to overcompensate for it. I would work harder and longer and to the point of pure exhaustion in order to prove my self-worth.
When I started working on my thoughts, it finally occurred to me that I never told anyone about my shame and fear of being found out that I was "not that smart". I was constantly terrified that people would find out I was a bad speller. Little did I know that there are a lot of bad spellers and it is not a big deal at all. It is what it is. We have spell check. It's okay!
The bottom line is, I damaged myself with that one belief. It took me years to understand my shame and where it was coming from. So, when I finally realized that I am actually a pretty smart cookie and this experience is truly just one of my personal challenges that I have overcome, I was able to create an affirming belief and let that old one go.
If you have beliefs holding you back, I encourage you to grab a notebook and write them down. Then, write out why that belief does not work anymore. Finally, write your new belief and keep writing it daily until it becomes your new affirming belief.
You might also need to go back and console the child or younger person that you were. In your mind, go back and love that person that you were. Give her hugs. Tell her that she is actually going to be just fine. Console her until she is healed. I had to do this and I can tell you, it works great.
Love you! xoxo