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It's Not You, It's them

I spent decades fighting against all the things that were wrong with me.


My weight, my personality, my assertiveness, my loud laugh, all of it.


When I was young, a few “trusted” people in my life said some very cruel and judgmental things to me on a continued basis. I allowed those words to become part of me. Their voices became my very own voice of judgement well into adulthood.


I thought I was the problem and everyone’s opinions of me were more important than what I thought of me.


I let that abuse continue for a long time.


But, then I created distance between the abusers and me. I turned my attention away from those who did not see my worth. I turned my attention from those who saw my worth and wanted to diminish it to make themselves feel better.


I decided to focus on me and not them. I let them be. I figured out that their thoughts belong to them and they own the repercussions from their thoughts and I own mine.


I decided that when I was not around their negative energy, I actually liked myself as God created me. I learned that when the love and acceptance you have for yourself is unwavering, other people's judgements bounce off easily.


I realized that people who continually say cruel things under the guise of being “helpful” are the ones who have a problem. And their problem resides inside of themselves, not with me.


Understanding this simple concept helped me to lovingly distance myself mentally without creating negativity toward them. They have the problem. Not me. I don't control their thoughts. I only control mine.


If you have struggled with your self image because others in your life choose to take their issues out on you, see the abuse for what it is and move on in a way that serves you and your life positively.


Do not dive into the reasons why they are lacking. Do not spend your days learning about the effects of someone else's narcissism, bad behavior, or other mental issues. Leave all of that alone. Take your attention off of them completely.


You do not have to spend years trying to fix anything about you.


No one can love you as deeply and fully as you can love yourself.


Believe me, you are perfect as you are.


Learn to use all of the strengths that God gave you. Your strengths are your superpower. Focus on your superpower.


Its okay to want to improve on your strengths, its not okay to do that because of someone else’s issues with you. 💖


Love you!! Xoxo




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